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Wed, 22 Sep 2004 22:17:08 GMT

My life has been a series of failures. First, I failed to stop Furiza from turning my home world into a pile of rocks and space dust. Next, my father died trying to save my miserable life. Then, I failed to achieve my goal of immortality... The list goes on and on. So now I'm stuck on Chikyuu-sei, a pathetic little backwater planet full of weak Ningen that don't give me the amount of respect that I deserve.

Every waking moment I spend here drives me closer and closer to insanity. The Baka Onna (otherwise known as Buruma) won't leave me alone. I'd known that fucking her was a mistake, but I never realized just how big of one it was. We created two kids together -- Trunks and Bura -- and now she thinks she has some kind of claim on me. I never promised her anything even remotely related to commitment, but it's amazing what onnas think up sometimes.

I like my kids. I might even go as far as to say that I love them. When Trunks had ben born, I was still rough, I guess. I didn't know how to take care of a kid created from a drunken moment one night when I was still living in the Capsule Corporation, so I ignored him as much as possible and Trunks went almost six years without knowing his father. I regret that, I admit. I'm a shitty dad.

Bura was different, though. She's the youngest, my princess. She was born after I was resurrected, after I actually sacrificed my life for stupid Chikyuu-sei. I was in a different state of mind when she was born, so she had a better father. But not that much better. I still didn't know what the hell I was doing half the time.

This only makes up half of the enigma that is Vegeta. The other half is completely and utter centered on a baka named Kakarotto, or Goku to his friends. Let me tell you right now that I'm not obsessed with him! He just seems to be everywhere I am and takes everything I want. He's more powerful than me and I don't like that.

First off, he's the perfect husband.

...Okay, so maybe he's not. He goes off all the time without telling his wife (I wouldn't want her knowing where I was, either) and he also ignores practically everything she says. But, I have to hand it to him, I don't think I would have lasted more than a week with ChiChi before I finally snapped and killed her.

He's the perfect father.

Now that I think about it, he's as shitty a dad as I am. His oldest, Gohan, was trained from the age of six to fight evil (I was his first "bad guy"; it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside) and that's pretty dangerous for a kid with Ningen blood. The only time I think Gohan's really spent with his father was to train for coming evil that could wipe out life as they knew it. At least, when I was playing at being a father, all the evil was gone.

His second kid, Goten, was raised by me. I'm not joking, as ironic as it sounds. Kakarotto was dead at the time so the kid needed a father figure and, apparently, I was the logical choice. He's Trunks' best friend (though there's something else going on there that most people don't know about).

Actually, the only thing Kakarotto is perfect at is being the strongest and most power man in the universe, a title that should rightfully belong to me. But, at least I can say that I'm the perfect badass.

The Journal of a Forgotten Prince

Back Story